DebbieQ

We all have whats called a "motivational condition" and according to Dr. John Ullmen studying and determining your motivation condition can improve performance.  I was shocked to watch a video of him talking about me.  Dr. Ullmen spoke at a conference and used me as example to describe my motivation condition.  I couldn't help but to laugh.  I am so happy to see him "decode me".  No one has been able to figure me out and he has done it so naturally.

I invite you to hear and see the video at http://vimeo.com/9098452 and then sign up for his newsletter at www.motivationrules.com.

It's truly life changing when you can capture how you are personally motivated.  It will help you become more efficient in what you do.

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It's the first time I hit the road for anything having to do with gift baskets and I have to say, it was quite an experience.  Who knew there was so much excitement and energy around this industry.

A few weeks ago, I was asked to teach at Burton & Burton's Ballooniversity in Atlanta.  It was seriously amazing to see the balloon industry and the things they are doing with balloons!  I met some great people, had some great food and above all, learned so much.  I taught about 300 people about the gift basket industry with a strong focus on marketing and really enjoyed myself. 

Last week, my family and I took a trip out to Ohio to attend the National Gift Basket Convention hosted by Tom & Pam Newell and it was so amazing to meet people I've been talking to on the phone for so long.  It was wonderful to talk to other gift basket professionals about their goals, challenges and successes with their businesses and help them as much as I could.  There was an interesting balance between newbies, veterans and those of us right in the middle.  I found myself chatting with professionals from all over the United States and in various places in their businesses.  I gave a presentation on "Promoting Yourself with Style" and had the song Pocketful of Sunshine at the beginning.  It was SO fun to get everyone up and dancing for a quick moment as my presentation kicked off. 

Pam, Tom & Family worked hard for the last year to put this convention together and I know for a fact how much work it is!  I'm sure when its my turn I'll have challenges and successes but will be so happy to lean on them and Mary Ann Jacobs for their help.  A great time with great people and thanks to all who attended.

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While I try my hardest, I'm guilty of being critical and I cite it as one of my worst qualities but I'm happy to say that I've gotten 100% better in the last several years.  Instead of having happy, positive thoughts, I used to go straight for the negativity in everything.  Once I realized that I was doing it, I have done a complete turn around and now, I think the opposite way. 

Here's the thing - generally speaking people don't mean to do things that are rude, wrong or improper.  I have found that we all try to do the right thing and gain the proper result.  Very few times I have met people that set out to do a poor job of something.  When we are critical, it's hurtful.  Now, there is an exception - when you run across people that are evil and intentionally set out to hurt others than I'll be the first to make sure I speak my mind and defend those who need to be defended.  It's really quite a simple concept.

If in fact you run across a situation where you don't agree with a concept or a set  of values, thats ok.  We're all entitled to our opinions and even more, we're entitled to express our opinions.  It's HOW we deliver the messsage is what separates the critics from the people who have respect for others. 

Instead of saying, "Boy, he was a total idiot and doesn't know a thing about social networking", we could say, "He seems like he put forth a good effort but maybe I can connect him with Sam and they can help each other."

or

"What the hell were they thinking making us stand out in the cold for an hour.", We could say, "I think we need to provide feedback to them that we were all too cold and uncomfortable in that environment."

Being respectful is the #1 quality I look for in people and its as simple as being considerate.  Unconstructive, rude and attacking feedback is unnecessary.  We are all human beings and need to respect each other irregardless of our differences.  It's ok to agree to disagree.

After all, how would you feel if you put forth your best effort and someone told you that you were an idiot or needed a "lesson".  It doesn't feel very good and certainly doesn't promote an harmonious environment.

Just my opinion.  What's yours?

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I feel so blessed today - an article is being published this week that speaks to how I'm  helping to uplift the gift basket industry and I have to say, I'm thrilled to read it.  I've been working so hard to help others that to see it in print, is fabulous.  You can see a preview of the article here.

I was also nominated as one of the 2010 Women Entreprenuer of the Year through the Women's Initiative.  They are a fabulous organization and I encourage you to visit their website and learn more about them.  And while you're there, a vote for me would be great appreciated!

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It's not often that I talk about my son Travis but lately, I just can't help it.  Travis started his own company last year when he was 15 called DinoSOAR Studios (we make your ideas SOAR).  This was after convincing me that making minimum wage wasn't going to work for him (love it).  He pitched this company to me and then showed me his concept by filming me making a gift basket in my workshop, producing the video and then posting it to YouTube for me.  After my jaw dropped at this skillset he had, we got his company up and running within 48 hours.  We were obsessed. 

Fastforward a year and he's been in a few articles, was chosen to be in a new book about CEO kids around the world and made the top 10 pitch list for a new article in a family magazine.  I heard him on the phone a few weeks ago doing a media inteview - my son!  He's got clients, projects and above all - he loves what he's doing.

It makes me realize that my love for business has been passed on and I'm so proud of him.  It really makes me realize the efforts of paying it forward.

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I own a membership based organization for the gift basket industry called The Gift Basket Association and I launched it last year to help uplift the industry.  There were a lot of great resources out there but they weren't in one place - making it easy for the gift basket professional to find them all.  GBA was built to solve a variety of problems and I'm pleased to say that its working exactly as we planned.  We've grown fast and have well over 300 members now but there's about 10,000 more that haven't joined, why?  A survey told me why.

Some didn't even know GBA existed.  Since we're just a year old, they just didn't know.

Some thought the $99 annual fee was monthly. Oh my gosh, no!

Some didn't understand the benefits.

Now that I'm able to understand the perception, I'm able to ensure my marketing is updated and any course corrections are made - and there are a few!

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It's not often that I do this but I have to ask you to please try and support the Aaron Tanner Fundraiser we're doing on June 6th, 2010 at The Santa Clara Convention Center.   Even if you aren't local in Northern California, you can help.

• Buy raffle ticks for the Apple iPad.  They're just $20 for 5 tickets and you don't have to be at the event to win.
• Donate auction items.  We're looking for small silent auction items all the way to larger items like tickets, trips and events.
• Attend the event.  We need you to attend the event to help us fill the room and raise money for Aaron!

All of the details are at www.wnacommunity.com.

Thank you SO very much.

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There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence and while I admit, I've had my fair share of challenges finding the balance, there has always been one thing that has stuck with me.  Anyone can "say" anything but demonstrating and walking the talk is a whole other story.

When I first launched the Gift Basket Association last year, I was copied on an email where someone said that "her credibility is in question".  My credibility?  The author of the email doesn't even know me or anyone in my circle so that was purely a made up statement.  And on top of it all, I have a great reputation in my local valley as well as my primary job as a security professional.  You certainly don't get where I'm at by having questionable credibility.  (See, I'm walking the fine line of arrogance vs. confidence).  This particular person said I would fail, spoke poorly of me in adjacent circles and the most hurtful part was that I never had a single conversation with her to even warrant that type of judgement. 

But here I am a year later feeling wonderful about what I've done, accomplished and given to the gift basket industry.  For being in business for just a year, we have done a lot to help the industry and bring it together.  And, those aren't words - they are actions.  I didn't have to fire back with how good I am, I fired back with demonstrated success, testimonials and actual results.

Actions speak louder than words and I'm screaming!

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I don't know about you but I'm tired of people acting one way and then when I turn around acting like something totally different.  I made some significant relationship changes in my life to avoid putting myself in that position.  If I'm going to invest in relationships, they're going to be real - period.

Why is it that if someone has an issue or problem that they can't bring it forward?  Is it that they don't know how or are they just purely fake and cowardly?  Or, they mask it under some other issue that makes no sense at all.  I got a call today from a friend who was absolutely beside herself because her good friend of two years emptied her brown bag on her today.  Ahh the brown bag. 

Here's the common scenario - people have problems with confrontation.  They'd rather just keep the peace and so they take their "issue" and put it in their brown bag.  It doesn't go away, it just gets put into the bag until one day they decide to lose control of their phoniness and then dump it on you hurting every feeling you have.  And the person you thought you knew, isn't that person at all.  So now, in addition to listening to all of the brown bag items - you feel like a fool for falling for their phony behavior.  I've been through it recently and I've gotta tell you - it's painful.  It is truly hurtful.

Three things you can say to lead into a proper level of confrontation:

"I'm kinda confused about something you said..."

"Wow, that really hurts, did you mean to hurt my feelings?"

"I'm not ok with that, maybe you could say that another way"

Learn how to become an effective communicator and I promise you that you'll have a much more fulfilling level of relationships.

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I love ruts.  For me, they're a challenge and everyone knows that I love a challenge.  Over the years, I've had my own ruts, helped others with ruts and on top of all of that, have had my fair share of success and challenges. 

But, one thing is for sure - if you don't allow yourself to recognize when you are in a rut, you're going to cut yourself short.  Pay attention to your stress, frustrations and depressive states and get up and do something about it. 

Don't let it take you - take it!

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I'm pretty irritated to find out when its Friday.  I sit back and say, "where the heck did the week go?"  It just goes to show me that I'm not controlling my time, time is controlling me and for those of you who know me, know that I don't appreciate being controlled.  That being said, I've put in a few concepts and processes to slow it down.  It's bad enough I'm aging daily, I don't need to fly through weeks.  It's about quality....not quantity.

Lighten up the schedule:  I'm not a fan of back to back meetings and not having some time to breath in between.  Putting some breathing, writing and thinking time in between meetings has helped me immensely.  I'm finding myself thinking and reflecting more which is giving me more ideas.

30 Minute Meetings:  Do we really need an hour?  It depends on what you're doing but if there is a way to hold your meetings to 30 minutes, I think you'll find that you'll get to the point faster and if there is time for conversation and pleasantries then great.  But it really depends on what you're doing.  If you're trying to establish and foster a relationship, then maybe 30 minutes isn't the right thing to do.

A Day of Nothing:  I have one day per week where I don't have anything scheduled.  It's the day when I'm able to do what I want to do, when I want to do it without worrying about commitments. 

Just some ideas to slooowwwww it down.  Hope they work for you.

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At first it was kinda funny, cute and comical but now I'm starting to feel like I'm a walking billboard for multi-tasking.  Magazine articles are coming out calling me a maxi-tasker.  I hate that word, makes me think of a female hygiene product.  But I guess I get it.  People are seeing how much I have going on and are wondering what my secret is - how can I work full time and manage everything I have going on?

But, I look at it differently. 

I don't want to be one of those women that is booked every single night, never has time to relax and can't help other people because she can barely help herself.  I go to work, come  home, read my mail, return phone calls and lay down for a quick refresher.  I get up for a bit, have dinner and work until about 10:00 p.m. then relax.  My weekends are relaxing, I take vacations and honestly, LOVE what I do.  To me, what I do and how I spend my time isn't work, it's fun.

But here is my #1 secret. Make a long list of everything you have to do, want to do and need to do to make your business grow.  Now separate the items into two columns.  Column 1 are items that you have to do such as blogging - blogging needs to be in your voice.  Column 2 are items that you can easily delegate.  Column 3 are things that you really enjoy doing that if given the time, you'd do them regularly.

Let this process drive decision making.  I'm not saying that you can't do it all - you can, you just need to be sensible, reasonable and most of all able to find people you can trust to help you.

Go get it!

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It doesn't seem to stop.  Even when I'm stuck in bed with sinus infection while my family sits down stairs enjoying the superbowl.    I've already slept, ate, texted, Facebook'd and a ton more.  I'm so done.  But then I started to feel lousy and decided I needed a few things.  I texted my husband and gave him my list of "stuff" that I wanted.  Soda water, Jello, soft tissues, a heating pad for ny neck, chaptstick, throat lozenges and water. 

It then occurred to me that in my Gourmet Gifts workshop, we have a gift basket that's already made up and in stock.  It's a gift basket well sell regulary for people with colds.  I realized at that moment that I'm doing something right.  I've created a gift basket based on previous experiences and its benefitting me right now. 

...and no, I didn't make him wrap and bow it.

Are you creating realistic products for your customers?  Whether you own a gift basket company or not, the concept applies.  Is the product you have current, real and useable?  Think about it and triple check your work.  It's not just about what you have to offer, its about what your customers need you to offer.

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I'm not entirely sure, but I'm thinking that hiring a business coach is one of the best decisions I've ever made

I was recently asked why I have a business coach, what he does for me and why I'm willing to spend money on coaching.  Now, I admit, it wasn't the brightest question I've received but for those of you who are wondering what coaching is about, listen up.

First, life is like a baseball game.  You get up to bat, swing and sometimes you make it to first and sometimes you miss.  Your teammates are there to support you and cohesively work with you to get that home run that will give you the score.  Baseball is a team sport.  It requires coordination, motivation and a variety of skills that you must learn in order to be an effective player.  Can you image a team of players coming together with the ultimate goal of winning without a coach?

Business and personal life have the same foundational concepts.  You know you want to win but getting there is a whole other story.  You might think that you've identified your "win" properly, you might even think you have all the tools you need to get there.  But, as I always say, "you don't know what you don't know".  A coach is there to ensure you have a clear understanding of your path and the skills, attributes and knowledge that you need are defined.  Coaches are paid partners that are there specifically to  help you define  your "home run" and help you get there.  It's about getting your foot off first before moving to second and making sure you have the right running shoes to get there. 

One word of caution - when picking your coach, pay attention to their personal level of success. This isn't about picking someone that has been in your life for a long time or a long lost friend.  It's about partnering and paying someone that has demonstrated success in their own life and will be able to identify the best course of action.  The biggest mistake I've seen people make is making their life long "mentor" their trust advisor.  They may mean well and think they know what's best for you but in the end, they're missing the foundational elements of a real coach.  For example, if someone ever just plainly tells you that something "won't work" that should be a red flag, especially if their reasons are more personal opinions than statements backed up but concrete research and real life examples.   Proper coaches will tell you that it will work but you'll have to take steps 1-10 to make it work.  Anything is possible, you just have to have the proper drive, motivation and skills. 

A few words of advice when it comes to the coaching process.  Very much like counseling, coaching only works if you are genuine, open and trusting.  If you're holding back any information that will inhibit your success, you're not doing yourself or your coach any favors. As a matter of fact, you're simply wasting time and money.  Second, don't be a "yes man".  If you don't agree or want further explanation, ask for it.  Don't feel you have to accept every piece of advice and direction they share with you.  Lastly and perhaps most important, be open to constructive criticism as opposed to being offended, hurt or embarrassed.  Your coach is there to help you become a better person and ultimately, get to home plate.

Go hit that home run and have fun doing it!

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